Sunny Side Up

Dude, seriously, geek.

Crazy stories on CNN today.

Kids choose sexy milk bottles over boring cartons
US school children are drinking more milk when it comes in bottles compared to cartons, claiming they taste better and easier to open but the article had this to mention as well:
Several years ago the milk industry decided its boxes were not visually competitive when sold alongside the relatively sexy bottles of juice and soda increasingly common in schools.
Milk bottles are sexy? MILK BOTTLES????? I can think of a whole lot of sexy things but a milk bottle isn't one of them.

Of course, amid growing concerns on child obesity, parents and schools are doing whatever they can to increase the rate of milk consumption. While people say milk can help you grow healthier and smarter, this is what smart people at NASA is planning to do six months from now.

Blow Things Up? I'm there
NASA scientists are launching a spacecraft later this month, dubbed the "Deep Impact" after the 1998 movie about an comet falling into Earth, for the simple purpose of smashing it to a passing comet under the guise of scientific study. Shyeah right, like anyone's gonna believe they're not just doing it because they can. LOL Here's a quote from Richard Grammier, manager of NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab
It would be like it's standing in the middle of the road and this huge semi coming down at it at 23,000 mph, you know, just bam!
You can just sense the excitement there.

While one group of scientists are planning to blow things up, another group in England has created yet another sci-fi inspired invention.

Flesh eating robots
Yeah, you read it right. The new year really started well for these brainy types hasn't it? Scientists at the University of West England want to built a robot that doesn't need recharging or batteries so they came up with one that eats. Only a matter of time before they come up with a larger more sinister version of this digital venus flytrap and hordes of these robo-zombies come wheeling after you where they'll trap you in a mall with nowhere else to go. Oh wait, people do that already?

How does it catch the flies you ask? By emitting an odor attractive to the flies. Care to guess how they plan to do this? You wouldn't wanna be anywhere near this thing when it operates. Y'know, I'd expect they would employ something like kinetic energy to run this thing, after all, watches already do. You only need to shake it to give it power. Like a polaroid picture... okay, enough with Outkast. It's so 3 years ago.

So anyway, these guys are planning to use human sewage with the robot. Human WHAT???? We're talking el stinko here ladies and gentlemen, the remains of your digestion process. The very thing we get rid of when our stomachs can't take it anymore. They're going to put shit into this robot so that it attracts flies. Brilliant aren't they, these Brits? Don't flush your stinking crap down the toilet, give them to the robots!! I can't wait til Trey Parker and Matt Stone got a hold of this news cuz they'll go crazy with this in South Park. If this thing can talk, it'll have every valid reason to say "Eat shit and die!"

So what exactly does this shit-carrying robot do? What makes it so important that these guys have to create a roving septic tank? Get this, they wanna take the temperature. They wanna take temperature with a shit-carrying robot that eats flies. While it may be able to take a very accurate temperature, I'll stick to my own thermometer I bought at the pharmacy thank you very much. It doesn't smell!! Even worse, this thing only moves at 10 CENTIMETERS PER HOUR!! So once it's done taking temperature, you're gonna want to stay clear of the room for the next 24 hours or so.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what smart people do. They drink their milk from plastic bottles because cartons are just not sexy enough , grow up to be members of the top tier of human intelligence so that they can send things to space just to smash it up or come up with shit carrying, flesh-eating robots that don't move very fast.

« Home | Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »

» Post a Comment